Friday, January 3, 2020, 17:24

Here's a bit of Funny for Friday! 

What if your dog made New Year?s Resolutions? Would any of these be on the list? 

  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining clean pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not eat other animals' poop.
  • I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
  • I will not eat my own vomit.
  • I will not eat "kitty box crunchies".
  • I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, specially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
  • I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
  • I will not bark each time I hear a door bell on TV.
  • I will not walk under the big dog when he is peeing.
  • I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
  • I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
  • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.


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